What do I need to know about Separation?
Making the plunge to end a relationship can be daunting and full of emotional turmoil. Yet, if you're certain separation is right for your partnership, there are smart measures to keep in mind before taking that step forward. It's never an easy call but requires self-reflection along with substantial courage - two key components when it comes to making such a momentous life decision.
Here’s 7 steps to make it more manageable:
Know where you are going to go
Securing the next accommodation is key to helping reduce the unavoidable stress of transitioning from one living environment to another. To achieve this, be proactive and contact family who have kindly offered you spare room; research affordable options which fit with your needs; or if applicable, reach out to emergency shelters in the area for additional support.
Additionally, remember that it's important to tell work supervisors ahead of time should an extended leave from work become necessary. With proper planning and organisation, having peace-of-mind about where you will next call home can help make life transitions smoother sailing.
Know why you’re leaving
When contemplating parting ways, it is important to recognise that the individual goals of each person in a relationship can differ. While some may seek solitude and space for reflection, others might be embarking on the difficult but necessary process of divorce. Having clarity about your intentions will help you stay focused as decisions are made going forward.
Get legal advice
Even when faced with tough questions such as 'is leaving the house considered abandonment?' or 'am I liable to pay money to my partner?', consulting an attorney is a great way to feel secure and develop a plan. A private solicitor, legal aide or even researching online can be beneficial in finding answers so you know your rights before making any difficult decisions about family law matters. We can assist with family law matters.
Decide what you want your partner to understand about you leaving
Achieving clarity as to why you are ending a relationship is key. Reduce the potential for conflict by deciding on one core message that will communicate your intentions and then delivering it concisely via writing or face-to-face conversation (rather than text). It can take time before both parties are emotionally ready for more in-depth discussions, so there's no harm in allowing some space between initial contact and further dialogue.
Talk to your kids
Communicating big changes to your kids can be difficult and even overwhelming. To ensure the transition feels manageable, aim to give them a heads-up at least one week in advance. This gives everyone involved enough time to process what's happening without feeling anxious or uncertain of their future plans. When discussing these major decisions, keep conversation focused on facts - resist any urge you may have towards venting complaints about the situation; that will only leave children with conflicting emotions such as confusion or guilt they don't deserve to deal with during this sensitive moment.
Kids, even teens, crave information about how their world is changing. How and when will they encounter you in this new landscape? Let your partner know what the future holds for them - reassure them that school won't be disrupted - but make sure to approach it carefully so as not to be overwhelmed with adult issues. With open communication between both parents ahead of time, kids can better understand how these changes fit into their lives.
Decide on the rules of engagement with your partner
Your situation calls for an intentional, proactive approach. Set your boundaries and decide on the ideal contact that both you and your partner are comfortable with when it comes to children - whether its daily phone check-ins regarding them or weekly dates, make sure everyone’s needs are met while also adhering to legal guidelines.
Line up support
Taking the difficult step towards separation can be daunting, but with dedicated preparation and a supportive network of family and friends by your side, you will possess all that is necessary to empower yourself for success. Utilising helpful resources such as counselling or therapy may help in navigating this transition period more effectively. As you make these plans however, remember to trust those who are truly rooting for you - it makes an immeasurable difference along challenging paths ahead.